a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize