The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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