your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
