We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
