btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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