I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
