We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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