You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
