Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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