I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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