I wish I could punch you in the face.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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