We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
