he wants to bone in the snuggie
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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