All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
