so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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