Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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