Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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