Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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