Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I AM VODKA MAN
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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