i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I still have a little drunk in my system
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
