I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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