i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
