so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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