i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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