eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
