oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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