He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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