There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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