so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
