why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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