So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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