I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize