im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
