The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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