I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
