Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
