Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
