Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He did a backflip because drugs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
