do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
