Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my poor anus
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
