Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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