I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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