I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
