We're facebook friends in real life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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