One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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