what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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