if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
