its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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