roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
