Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Still dying that you shit outside
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
