I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
