Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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