ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
