I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
