i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
