Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
