i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
