Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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