at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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