I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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