How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
