A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
