I want to have your abortion
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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